One lunchtime, passing through the city centre, I noticed a young girl of around twenty on one of the circular stone benches, two medical walking sticks to her side and one leg stretched out. She looked healthy otherwise. I felt eager to talk with her and hopefully offer her healing prayer.
In response to my question about what had happened to her leg, she told me that, around six weeks ago, she had been hit by a car when crossing a road and her leg had fractured in two places. Following surgery to insert a plate and pins, she then underwent intense rehab, which continues still. “Does your leg still give you pain now?” I asked. “Yes, sometimes, though not as bad as before”. She thanked me for showing care and interest in her situation. Her name is Lana.
When I made Lana the offer of praying for her pain to leave, explaining that I had seen God do this many times before, even in high pain level situations, Lana responded something like this:
“Oh no, thank you. I study mathematics and I prefer to rely on myself.” Interesting.
I could sense the defensive brittleness in her, yet a vulnerability that was not far from the surface.
Lana unpacked some background context of how she’d been made to go to cathedral service every morning at her school, something she found totally irrelevant to her and merely a place to sing songs with her friends and mess around.
I listened, then made my response to Lana that I too had tried relying on myself as a younger adult, but that it really didn’t work out well. At all.
“Oh, I’m sorry” she replied.
“No, no! Please don’t be!” I insisted The day I came to the end of my own rope and croaked out a plea of help to a God I only hoped might be there and hear this pitiful mess of me, was the best day of my whole life! I then described to Lana what happened after making that plea and how Jesus had entered my room in His utter, perfect holiness yet overwhelming love and forgiveness. I spoke to her of how God was – He is - the very essence and embodiment of Love, and in His presence it was like wave after wave of liquid love and pure light were flowing over my whole being, inside and out. Making me brand new and clean. Indescribable. Unforgettable.
“Oh” she said quietly. “I’ve never heard it described like this before. This is very different”. She had become thoughtful and I could see that, just for a moment, she was reconsidering God, even a little.
Recalling what Lana had said at the start, I ventured that God is not separate from mathematics. In fact, He has put mathematical precision at the core of the universe and the whole of creation. Without mathematical integrity, nothing would hold together. Lana eagerly agreed with that!
I noticed that Lana spoke with a slight European accent that I couldn’t quite place. When I asked her about her parents, she told me that her mother was Russian but had died some time ago. Her father is Ukrainian and Lana does not have a relationship with him. No wonder there was so much brittleness inside this precious girl and a deep sense of having to rely on herself in the world. She was living as an orphan. My heart really went out to her.
“Lana” I said as I got ready to leave, “if you ever find yourself wanting to know the kind of love I have just told you about, simply call out to God, as I did. Ask Him to show you how much He loves you and He will answer the cry of your heart. However imperfect or uncertain it is. He loves you and He will eagerly wait for you to call Him. He will never force Himself on you. ”
Lana thanked me again for caring about her today, and I slipped away into the lunchtime crowd.
Dear Reader, would you pray for this fragile daughter who doesn’t yet know the love of her earthly OR Heavenly father? Holy Spirit, you caught Lana’s heart when your overwhelming love was brought into the picture. Draw Lana to crave that love and to call out to Jesus as the true source of all perfect, healing, saving love. Encounter her, Jesus, and move her from dismal orphanhood to a place in your Family as your own, unique cherished daughter. Amen!